And the Honorable Mentions for the Delete Key Awards Shortlist Are …

Also-rans for the shortlist for the Delete Key Awards for the year’s worst writing in books that was posted Friday:

1. From Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia:

“A word about masturbation, if I may. Sometimes it can be a handy (forgive me) tool …”

Why I considered it: A bad pun isn’t less bad because you apologize for it, and the book has a lot of cute writing like this.

Why it didn’t make the cut: Gilbert might have eaten her way through Italy. But her book doesn’t suggest as The Secret does that if you want to lose weight, you should avoid looking at fat people.

2. From Dedication: A Novel by Emma McLaughin and Nicola Kraus:

“Movemovemove, I’ve gotta pee!”

“OHMYGODWHERE’DYOUGETTHATBODY?”

Why I considered it: At times this novel from the authors of The Nanny Diaries reads as though it had been written on a computer with a space bar that got stuck.

Why it didn’t make the cut: At least I could understand what the lines meant. I can’t say that about this passage from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, which defeated them for a spot on the shortlist: “On our planet, and perhaps simultaneously in many parts of our galaxy and beyond, consciousness is awakening from the dream of form. This does not mean all forms (the world) are going to dissolve, although quite a few almost certainly will. It means consciousness can now begin to create form without losing itself in it. It can remain conscious of itself, even while it creates and experiences form.”

© 2008 Janice Harayda. All rights reserved.